I was raised in Guernsey, a small island in the English Channel. A fairly traditional education, led to a fairly traditional occupation and by my mid thirties I had a very successful business in healthcare. I was married to a great woman and we had a beautiful young daughter.
And yet on the inside I was completely miserable.
For the next few years I looked for answers, hired coaches, therapists, attended many courses and read book after book.
I spent tens of thousands of pounds on my own development in a desperate quest to work out just what was going on with me.
Why wasn’t I happy?
I had everything that I had been told from a young age to desire. I would have been judged a “success” and yet I didn’t feel at all content and settled.
Things fell into place when I began to realise that I had been making a mistake all along.
I had listened to what was expected of me by my culture and by my society – and I had taken that as the only way to live my life.
I hadn’t realised that we don’t have to accept anyone else’s version of what a successful life looks like. We need to create our own version.
It sounds stupid, but it is surprising how many of us walk around thinking we have to fit ourselves into this narrow mould of manhood.
And over the past few years I have started to work with more and more men who are wanting a different way of life.
These men are curious, adventurous, creative and inspired to take any action necessary to change.
It’s not always the most comfortable work – you don’t need another friend to chat with, you need someone to help you make changes and change is pretty painful from time to time. But it is work that needs to be done and more and more men are starting to realise this.
I am committed to being the best human I can be from moment to moment and I work on a daily basis to make that happen.
I still work with coaches, therapists and read voraciously around the varied fields of psychology, neuroscience, creativity, self development, sexuality and the sports pages.
I am not fitted easily into a box and won’t let any of my clients be either.
As men we are at the edge of a precipice – stay as we are and face further disillusionment in a changing world or adapt and change to a new way of being – neither the New Age Wimp nor the Alpha Macho. These stale models are old and in time for an overhaul.
I ask my clients to create the most courageous and outstanding version of what real success looks like to them.
And then I help them make the vision a reality.